Writer’s note: I am so damn tired. Bad writing may be blamed on 28-hour travel times and Starbucks. 

I am back in Phnom Penh. It’s nice to be back, and my awkward landing yesterday in the late afternoon had the world double-daring me to stay awake until a reasonable time. I sort of did that, with a slight blip in late afternoon and my super sexy open-mouth sleeping during a massage. At one point, the nice lady assigned to my half-dead body asked me to turn over onto my back. I said “ok, no problem” and then fell back asleep immediately. She had to wake me up again, I tipped well.

Naturally, I was awake early this morning. Not too bad, clocking in around 4am, and after accepting that more sleep was not in the cards for me, I staggered down to the kitchen to make coffee. I am so much like Tim Cook. I could have gone running or started working out or juiced or something, but I didn’t want to.

The hours before the rest of humanity is awake are so nice. Phnom Penh is a frenetic clown show, so the silence is something to be cherished and appreciated. It’s also the time of day when my brain works the best, which is unfortunate because I am not usually up at those weird hours, and I find myself reeling with ideas and motivation. Until about 10am, when I turn into a lazy extra from the Walking Dead. This was going to be a post with lists in it, not a rambling feeling-sy piece, so I’m going to give that a shot.

Things I do at 4am

1. Lemon water. Someone (maybe Gwyneth Paltrow) told me to do this. I think it’s healthy.
2. Coffee. I make as much as my body can handle without getting the shakes.
3. Turn on David Bowie. I can’t even talk about how sad I am to lose this person in the world. Modern Love on repeat.
4. Think seriously about changing out of pj’s, decide not to.
5. Emails. My brain isn’t getting in my way just yet at this point and I like how I am writing. Also, when I am buzzy-tired, my feelings are right in my face, so they all come out all over everything. Take that, inbox.
6. Breakfast. Three boiled eggs, a green juice, and more coffee. My life is full of glamour.
7. Catch up on blogs. I took a break from these for a few weeks, mostly so I get this moment. I love catching up with Joy, Bri, Jo, Garance, Emily, Kate and all my other pretend friends.
8. Download the Spendbook app, because damnit, I am going to budget in a better way this year.
9. Stretch. My body feels older than it is, I blame 18-23 year old me for this. The noises that come out of my back could be sampled by Kanye.
10. Look at new sewing machine, take off cardboard wrapping, stare at it, and walk away, a little bit scared.

Now it’s actual morning, other people are awake and I am considering joining the world outside. I have lunch with Tiff in a few hours, when we’ll get ou noodle on and get back to real life in a weird place.

Photo by me, pretty plant by @ktelge