I love movies, everyone loves movies. I also loves dogs. I love dogs so much that I have already named my future dog that I don’t have yet. Her/his name is Crash Davis and she/he’s the best dog ever. We go running together by the lake (in the future, I run and live by a lake) and eat snacks together.

Anyway, I go down the movie trailer black hole every once in a while, and on my recent time-wasting journey, I came across a movie called “A Dog’s Purpose.” It looks like a standard feel-good movie with Dennis Quaid, but it’s so much worse than that.

Bad language ahead.

This is some straight up BULLSHIT. This trailer, this 98 seconds of emotional napalm, should come with a damn warning on before watching. I cried so hard I hurt my back. Granted, there are a few other things going on in my life right now, but whatever. It should be illegal to put multiple scenes of people saying goodbye to dogs as they slowly pass on in one trailer. It’s straight up garbage. So I am here to warn you about this internet monster, so you can be better prepared for the heart invader than I was.

Also, I will 100% see this movie by myself. Probably in the theater.