Tomorrow night, I move to the US. I am all packed up, said goodbye to a beautiful bunch of friends last night, and ready to go. Physically, at least.

The plan is to be back in the region in a few months, so my ugly crying has been reserved to the privacy of my own home, so far. I still have 24 more hours. I will miss this place, and the people who have burrowed themselves into my heart forever. Forever.

Cue ugly cry.

I don’t have anything good to say, or any wise words before leaving. I have had a hell of a time living in this country, and honestly, some of my very worst days have been here. I have banged my head against the wall in frustration with the politics, the traffic, and the air-borne fecal matter. Durian will always smell like old meat to me.

That said, Phnom Penh has changed me. It has forced me, kicking and screaming, into becoming the person that I want to be. It hasn’t been graceful, I assure you. I am not the same girl that landed here five years ago, and I am grateful for it.

So fine, you win. You will be my quirky, sometimes racist, sometimes charming, very short family member for the rest of my life. I love you.