So it’s Valentines Day and that’s neat, I am all for community-sanctioned candy festivals. The day itself means very little to me, but hooray for love and all that. I’m not here to talk about love, or loving yourself, or your Galentines or even chocolate. This is the story of my shinyass jacket.

I was having a down day last Friday, and seemed to be absorbing all of the frustration of the world and taking in upon myself to feel it all. You know, healthy, reasonable stuff. I succeeded in not showering until 1pm and decided it was time to get out of the house, so I went to Target, in a mall, in Los Angeles. Obviously, the most stress-free, chilled out place in the world.

Malls are weird and I am not used to them yet. The convenience is exciting, but everything smells like a mix of Abercrombie cologne stank and Panda Express. It’s confusing for my face, because I get all excited about Panda (don’t you judge me) but then the Abercrombie stank just smacks me in the nose with douche poison and memories of high school heartbreak. Anyway, the jacket.

I went into Zara, which I don’t do anymore because I am not thrilled about how they make their stuff, but I wanted to touch things. I combed through a lot of pieces that looked a lot like everything else from the last three years, and then, as I was walking to check out with my two on-sale tank tops and a 7.99 yellow velvet dress that feels important, I saw it.

It was sitting there on the wrong rack, jammed in there and sort of wonky, sending me sparkly vibes. I wandered over to grab it, saw it was my size, and THEN saw that it was on sale. (Are you on the edge of your seat? I bet you are.) It’s a bomber jacket, that looks like it used to be dark, dirty green, but then somebody dropped it into a pot of glitter at the jacket factory and decided to send it to the store to see if anyone noticed.

I noticed. I put that bad boy on and I am never taking it off. The inside is lined with some sexy green business that I want to be buried in. I want to wear this jacket for eternity, damnit. I love it so much I took it camping this weekend, and it may or may not have been weather appropriate.

I can’t find the exact jacket on the internet, this one come pretty close, but I think if you are going to go around, buying shiny jackets, you should get this one, because I like the women behind the company.

And because I have gorgeous friends who look amazing in my jacket, you get a photo of her, too. Because I love you.