cait +tiff

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C / together and stuff

Transitions are hilarious, easy, and always lots of fun without any confusion whatsoever. Or the opposite. Uprooting is a mess, and resettling is sort of like trying to make a house out of legos and rapidly melting ice cream. It’s a weird time, so I am calling in reinforcements, and tapping into some experts on how to keep my brain and body from exploding into a million pieces.

On Tuesday night, I attended Together, a traveling speaker series with Glennon Doyle Melton at the helm. You may know her blog, Momastery, or her book, Love Warrior. Her story is one of recovery and acceptance, with a huge amount of humor. She is monumentally brave with herself, highlights her vulnerability, and is above all, honest. She, along with host Jennifer Rudolf Walsh, have pulled together women from all walks of life, with incredible stories of bravery, love, and strength.

Right, so it’s a self-help-type thing, and my snarky, stubborn guts feels weird about things like this. They even gave you a little booklet where you write down your manifesto and strengths and dreams and a bunch of other things that are really hard to figure out in the allotted 45 seconds. My self-loving brain and my shit-talking brain had a long conversation about whether or not this is total garbage, and the self-loving side actually won.

Strangely enough, I like doing things that make me feel better about the hard parts of life, and I think it’s really valuable to listen to remarkable women talk about real, honest, vulnerable stuff. I get that this might sound like I’m elbow-deep in inspiring Pinterest quotes with stock photo sunsets in the background, but that’s fine.

So because I didn’t record the whole thing on my phone that really needs to be upgraded, below, are internet-provided clips of the ladies on stage. Honestly, these clips don’t do the  speakers justice, but you get the idea.

Glennon Doyle Melton

“We can do hard things.”

Dr Jaqui Lewis

“Friends, we need to vote like our lives depend on it, like our love depends on it.”

Seane Corn

“You only ever teach what it is you need to learn, quite frankly.”

Valarie Kaur

“We can tell our own stories, author our own articles, make our own films, launch new campaigns, influence government and the media, and organize through technology and innovation. We have the tools to make love public in ways we haven’t seen before.”

Gina Rodriguez

“You are enough today, and the second you accept yourself is the second everybody else around you does as well.”





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C / 2:30am

Hello from Tucson. I have been up since 2:30 this morning and my body feels angry. The good news is, my parents have a very well-stocked fridge and a lot of coffee.

I am not great with jet lag, and you would think that after all of these years, I would have it down. I do not have it down. I used to take sleeping pills when I traveled, but they turned me into a sad, angry monster so I decided to go with just sleepy. I have no good advice on what to do to help with jet lag, but I did found out another thing NOT to do at about 3am.

I saw this comic on The Oatmeal last week. It’s called “Perfectly Unhappy” and it challenges the idea of happiness and what it means. Go read it right now, it will take you 4 minutes. I’ll wait.

Ok, you are all caught up, or you’re a liar, and that’s your problem. Anyway, the comic brings up a lot of things that have swirled around my head for the last few years, that I have never been able to articulate. He writes about how the definition of happiness actually ruins it. Happiness is seen as a constant state of of being, as if somehow, you can climb the mountain, cross the finish line, or whatever cliche you prefer, and then you are happy, and that’s it and you are done. The pursuit of this idea, can take away from the value of what we do daily, that we find meaning in.

The past few years, with this job change, life change, and everything change, I haven’t exactly been a pile of smiles, but this time has meant more to me than when I looked for “happy.” Finding meaning in how I live, what I do, and how I treat people around me is more important to me than feeling happy.

To circle back to the beginning of this post, DO NOT think about all of this stuff at 2:30am with jet lag, you will never get back to sleep. Deep-diving into the meaning of your own life on only a few hours of sleep is a terrible idea, and my god, DO NOT act on any of the profound decisions you make at that hour.

I’m off to go fall asleep on a flight to New York and ruin my sleep schedule for the rest of the week. caitsig


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C / Samantha Bee


Being back in the US always takes a minute to get used to, and with the attack in Orlando a few days ago, the bizarre complexity of this place is even more intense. Like a lot of people, I am sort of done with the “prayers for whoever just got shot” stuff. I feel like I am at the point where I can’t say anything profound or helpful regarding what happened, but Samantha Bee can.

This amazing chick has stepped up since she finally got her own show. Thank you, TBS, for that. Her comedy is smart, feminist, incisive, and funny as hell. I feel like she has somehow crawled into my mess of a brain and picked out all the important stuff and made it into a really funny show. She is able to make anger coherent when most of us (me) get so frustrated by all of this that all we (I) can manage are sputtering sentence fragments and a very red face.

Strong, important language below.

“Love does not win, unless we start loving each other enough to fix our fucking problems.”


Photo credit TBS

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C / Tiny Trump


I’m not going to talk about Donald trump directly, don’t worry. Instead I am going to make him useful. I know, sounds impossible, but bear with me.

I am in a pretty good spot right now, but not without a helluva lot of work. I have talked about working with a coach on the blog before, and working through issues I have that stand between me and what I want. The coaching has been so valuable for me, but I actually got the best advice of the year from someone on Facebook. To be totally honest, I don’t remember who posted it, but it resonated with me.

The post was about getting rid of the bad voices in your head that tell you you can’t do something. They tell you that you are not worthy, that you suck, that you are not good enough. The solution was this: Give that voice a face. Give it a face of someone you think is absolutely ridiculous. Someone you would never listen, trust or even stand to be around. A racist, a sexist, an egomaniac. Who comes to mind? Trump, obviously.

Picture Donald Trump, telling you that you are a loser. It’s funny right? Him jumping up and down, creepy hair piece flapping in the wind, tiny hands clenched into even tinier fists, orange-faced and yelling at you in four-word sentences? Hilarious. I sort of even love it. I added my own twist to the scenario and made him hamster size. When I am done listening to him, an actual hamster named Sprinkles chases him away.


This works with many people. My favorite dumb/evil people are Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, King Joffrey Baratheon, and Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast. I encourage you to figure out your own person that sucks the most. I know it’s sort of a funny exercise, but it’s also been helpful, and entertaining. I would LOVE to know who you choose.

Bowie sexy photo credit here.

Gross photo and cute photo via here and here.