Today I did something unprecedented. I went quiet. For only ten minutes. And it was exactly what I needed. Professionally-diagnosed adult ADHD notwithstanding, I also suffer from millennial noise, side hustle fatigue and chronic sprinting. The internal chatter is nuts. And the fatigue is all too real. So spurned on by Cait’s amazing words on meditation and equanimity, I did it. I meditated. I should also mention that I’m the least likely to do this. Ask my mom. Calm, cool, collected child I was not. Even in my moments of rest, there’s a podcast on. There’s always something.
I am an extrovert with introvert tendencies that I’m not always aware of. I said yes to too many things in the past month and tried to find quiet time while still doing things. My favourite is cooking dinner. But my mind is still running then. The wonderful ladies from My Favourite Murder are providing me entertainment. I am simultaneously chopping, cooking and cleaning. I always have a TV show on while I’m editing photos. I tell myself I totally have a relaxing pre-sleep routine of silence and reading. But that’s completely untrue because I’m on Instagram, reading the news and trying to plan a trip. At the same time. My brain generally looks like this:
It’s probably why I feel exhausted.
And that’s when I was confronted with the best idea ever: extreme quiet. It means you’re going beyond the noise. Restoring all the systems and getting your energy back. And there’s no expensive retreat involved. It’s like that cabin in the north I’ve always wanted to own. Ever since I started this desk job, I found myself without my beloved nap. Geez Louise do I miss my nap. But the moment, I turned on Calm.com, got my breathing under control (I sometimes forget to breathe, which is a recent revelation), and obeyed that Zen of a voice telling me to tune out, I got there. I felt like I was asleep at my desk without pulling a George Costanza (been there, done that). It’s a weird feeling. You’re literally going dark for a little bit. It felt amazing. Like I said, I don’t regularly meditate. Savasana and I are like me and green smoothies. But I can see myself doing this every day.
Even if you’re not a desk monkey, I recommend it. I can’t change how I am living at the moment. But I can at least make it better. Calm.com even has a series on anxiety, which I cannot wait to dive into. And in between I can go back to back to all the things, until they get too much. And then rinse, repeat. Try it sometime.