*Warning – there’s so much acknowledged privileged whining here.
When I left global public health consulting and a more traditional way of earning an income to live life as a millennial stereotype at the brink of 30, I joked and called it “early retirement.” I was going to get to pursue creative things, mostly photography, full time. And pepper this time with short tiny consulting opportunities here and there to make sure I could maintain things until things could take off. These tiny little projects sometimes took me to cool places, or they let me do things wherever I wanted. Or they were the coolest little opportunities to get some concrete experience doing communications work.
But then I got offered a desk job. That’s right, a full time desk job that would bring me back to my pre-retirement life. And I couldn’t say no. There were toys that I needed to buy, a Cait I needed to go visit in April. And savings! I’m not necessarily a high maintenance kind of girl, but I apparently like expensive toys and far flung places (like LA, right?).
Nonetheless, I had to come to terms with returning to an industry I had made the decision to leave. It’s not like I haven’t had these feelings before. Was it the end of the world? No. It’s an opportunity. I’m coming to this new job a couple of years wiser. I’ve shifted passions, but I can still be good at what I do at work. Except with a little more distance this time. And it’s not like I’m selling my soul here. I am not throwing in the towel here.
I love this quote from Amanda Kohr and her profile on She Explores.
And I am epically inspired by this new theme song to my life. For at least this contract.
I’m looking forward to going full throttle with the clients I can still make time for (weekends and evenings!), going bigger and bolder with projects, and all the toys! So many toys. And the places! I like barriers because they’ve always pushed me harder.
So I have to spend eight hours a day in something that doesn’t necessarily feed my soul, but lets me do more things that will help feed my soul instead. And eventually that golden needle of a YES will show up. I’m so excited. (Except for the fact that I lost my beloved afternoon nap).