cait +tiff

C / 2:30am

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Hello from Tucson. I have been up since 2:30 this morning and my body feels angry. The good news is, my parents have a very well-stocked fridge and a lot of coffee.

I am not great with jet lag, and you would think that after all of these years, I would have it down. I do not have it down. I used to take sleeping pills when I traveled, but they turned me into a sad, angry monster so I decided to go with just sleepy. I have no good advice on what to do to help with jet lag, but I did found out another thing NOT to do at about 3am.

I saw this comic on The Oatmeal last week. It’s called “Perfectly Unhappy” and it challenges the idea of happiness and what it means. Go read it right now, it will take you 4 minutes. I’ll wait.

Ok, you are all caught up, or you’re a liar, and that’s your problem. Anyway, the comic brings up a lot of things that have swirled around my head for the last few years, that I have never been able to articulate. He writes about how the definition of happiness actually ruins it. Happiness is seen as a constant state of of being, as if somehow, you can climb the mountain, cross the finish line, or whatever cliche you prefer, and then you are happy, and that’s it and you are done. The pursuit of this idea, can take away from the value of what we do daily, that we find meaning in.

The past few years, with this job change, life change, and everything change, I haven’t exactly been a pile of smiles, but this time has meant more to me than when I looked for “happy.” Finding meaning in how I live, what I do, and how I treat people around me is more important to me than feeling happy.

To circle back to the beginning of this post, DO NOT think about all of this stuff at 2:30am with jet lag, you will never get back to sleep. Deep-diving into the meaning of your own life on only a few hours of sleep is a terrible idea, and my god, DO NOT act on any of the profound decisions you make at that hour.

I’m off to go fall asleep on a flight to New York and ruin my sleep schedule for the rest of the week. caitsig



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